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    I'm Lauren and this is a blog dedicated to living life with a healthy balance. I love to run, strength train, bike and just be downright active. I'm a marathoner as of April 24, 2010 and am currently looking forward to qualifying for the Boston Marathon.

    I absolutely love to eat and enjoy great food but doing it all in moderation. You'll see healthy, organic foods on here frequently but you'll also run into things such as pizza and sweets. I believe you can have it all... just not all at once.

    I'm always learning and discovering new foods, recipes, workouts and ways to live a healthy lifestyle. Join me on my journey towards becoming my healthiest self.

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A Rare Moment These Days

My Jimmy John’s was A-H-MAZING!  I still wish they’d get some wheat sub bread but I’ll settle for white bread, especially when it’s free.

I was seriously tempted to go eat a third sub but right when I got up to go grab one, I had two new patients that needed to be triaged.  So it worked out that while I was triaging them, my stomach ended up registering that it was fully satisfied.

I did end up snacking on an orange around 4 or so to tide me over until community group tonight.

Y’all know what Thursday night means!  Community Group- which means there is usually dessert served… which means, I get a fruit dinner because it’s still Lent!  On the menu for tonight: A Granny Smith apple, sliced banana and grapes.  With 3/4 tbsp. of peanut butter of course.

I really do love my fruit dinners!  And the peanut butter makes it ridiculously addicting!

Alright, to explain the title of my blog.  I haven’t divulged this on the blog yet but if you know me then you know what I’m about to say and explain.  My parents got divorced after 29 years of marriage on June 24, 2009.  My dad re-married on August 1, 2009.  You can probably guess why my dad felt like he could know some other woman so well to get married that quickly after divorcing my mom.  But we won’t get into that. Think what you want.

I grew up being EXTREMELY close with my family.  We took many family vacations, had family game night every week, laughed together and spent ridiculous amounts of time together.  My mom is my best friend and I was such a daddy’s girl.  My dad is a physician in Memphis and worked 9 jobs (literally) when I was growing up (he still does) and had long hours.  I never held that against him because he was my daddy and I knew he was working so hard to provide us with eveything we needed or even wanted.  I rode the divorce rollercoaster with my parents for 2 1/2 years and it was brutal.  I never, in a million years, would’ve thought my parents would’ve gotten a divorce.  I grew up in church, my dad was a deacon, we want on mission trips as a family, served in soup kitchens, etc.  You just wouldn’t have thought we would’ve ended up being a split family.  But we are.  And every once in a while, I wake up from the dream of my parents divorce and realize it’s a reality.  Enter today.  I was sitting there at work and a random memory hit me and it was all she wrote. My mind ran to all the different memories I have as a child and up until last June and all I felt like doing was crawling into bed and bawling my eyes out while wishing it could go back to the way it was.  My childhood home is up for sale, my mom had to move, my dad is re-married with two new children (in addition to my baby, 22 year old, brother), and I’ve been floating.  Floating through this foreign world that I have not yet come to grips with, wondering if one day the Lord will grant me with amnesia so I could forget this divorce even happened.  I have discovered that running is my escape… I don’t think when I run.  I can just run with a clear head and pound out any stress that’s in my body.  It’s the perfect cure because I’m definitely not going the medication route if I don’t have to.  I don’t feel depressed on a regular basis at all. I feel like I lead a very fulfilling life.  I’m secure in my marriage and myself but some days are just really hard.  The rug that I stood on for 24 years has been pulled out from under me and I have to get used to standing on a different one.

I’m so thankful for the Lord, my husband, my mom and my friends that have always been there to pray, encourage, hug, listen and love me through every stage of grief there is.  And I am truly thankful for the sweet memories I have of my family together and will cling to those for the rest of my life but will always look back with a bittersweet taste being left in my mouth.  I think I’ve had a harder time lately because my dad and I don’t speak anymore.  We haven’t spoken in more than a month and that has been his decision. He completely has changed from the man I once knew as my daddy and it’s a hard pill to swallow.  Who, what, when, how?!  So many questions left unanswered.  So here I am, baring my all, to you, my readers, so thank you for bearing with me.  I promised to be honest on this blog and I meant it for every facet of my life because I know that if I’ve gone through feelings like this, someone else must have or will go through them too.  We aren’t alone…

But just about as quick as the sadness came, it was gone and I’m thankful.  The Lord is sufficient to ease my pain and that’s just what He did.  Know that if you are hurting, perpetually or intermittently, I feel your hurt!  I just felt a prodding to share this today and I hope that it helped encourage one of you readers out there who might be hurting too.  And thank you all for letting me be the person I am and feeling like I can be open and honest about my life.

Until tomorrow… Good night.

What have you used in your life to get past difficult moments?  Prayer, encouragement from friends, running, etc.

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10 Responses

  1. I love your honesty, and my heart breaks to know of the hurt that you feel. I am so proud of how you have loved your dad despite the hurt he chose to inflict on you and his family. And I trust that God is not finished working in your heart – and his.

  2. Lauren, this is the first blog I have read in a while, and I believe that it is no coincidence. I’m still here if u need to vent. You and I have grieved a lot together over the past couple years, and I miss our chats. Oh so glad you have found sanctuary in running. You’re an inspiration 🙂

  3. Lauren I’m so sorry to hear about your painful situation. It sounds like it really broke (and still breaks) your heart. You are such a strong, caring, and kind woman and you have so much positivity, I know that this sadness won’t completely break your spirit. I truly appreciate that you shared this with us, I’m inspired by your strength and openness. It’s incredible that you are able to have such a great perspective about it and that you have maintained your faith.
    My heart goes out to you.
    I find talking to friends and the people I love to be the most helpful thing. Communicating and just sharing your feelings is such a cathartic release.

  4. Lauren…I am so thankful that you have your mom and Chad. As for your father…one day he will have to face the hurt and pain he has caused. It may not be anytime soon, but one day the newness of his current situation will subside. I know things will never be the same, but God is there to comfort you all. Who knows why things truly happen, but know that God is using you in mighty ways. You will have a greater testimony of His love and how He delivers in tough times.
    As for reality, it is sometimes hard…for some reason this weekend it hit me that my Dad passed away (that was in July, and it hit me again out of nowhere.
    Take care sweetie!

  5. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing that with me… I am having the hardest time with my parents current divorce. My dad filed for divorce because of my mom and so I am really being pulled in two directions between the two of them and I really hope that in the NEAR future we will be able to get back to a NORMAL life. Once again thank you for sharing this, it made my night.

  6. Hugs to you girl. So glad that you have an outlet like running. My head is never clear! Maybe that’s why I don’t enjoy running like so many others do. My parents divorced when I was in the 3rd grade so they’ve been apart the majority of my life. I would say that you will never forget the divorce, but you can learn from it actually. I think that’s what you have to do in life, learn from the negative things that happen. Thank you for sharing, I’m sure that helped with your mood too. It always helps me to write things out.

  7. A big hug coming your way. I know this has been hard. Someday, I am sure, everything will. make sense. And, you are growing from this expereince. I am so proud to know you and to have you be a part of our families life!!

  8. Lauren-
    Thanks for being so honest and sharing about what has happened in your family. I know it cant be easy to go through it all, but it must be even harder to try and explain it to others. Know that you’re loved and that “His grace is sufficient for you. His power is made perfect in weakness.”

  9. Your post was absolutely really honest and it was so nice of you to share your story with everyone. Someone once told me that we are often faced with obstacles in life, but that God wouldn’t present us with them if he didn’t think that we could overcome them and be stronger in the end. I know that life sometimes is so very hard, but it is so amazing to see that you have kept your faith throughout everything 🙂 You are truly an inspiration

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